Dominate the First Date: Tips for First Date Success

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At any given time there are millions of unmarried adults looking for a date. First dates can be nerve-racking, anxiety inducing, and just plain confusing, for both men and women.

The key to landing a second date is to make a great impression on the first. Studies and surveys have suggested that at least half of all dates that go south never lead to a second date. While over 95% of first dates that were successful lead to a second date.

Picking a Location

There are certain places that are ideal for first dates, and others that are sure-fire date killers. You should carefully consider where you will go on your first date. ‘Dinner and a movie’ dates are old and time-tested, but they aren’t ideal, and don’t always work. You should choose places where you can definitely have a conversation with your date and get to know them. If you can’t even talk to your date, it’s unlikely you will get a second date.

By: yohana wina

Avoid dates where you get little interaction with your date. Don’t go to the movies, a concert, a play, skydiving, or even paintballing. These types of dates are great for second or later dates, but not firsts.

Always ask your date ahead of time if they are comfortable with the location or date setting you are considering. You don’t want to go on a date where your date feels out of place, that makes for a horrible date.

Going out to dinner and skipping the movie is a great way to get to know your date. Opt for a casual dinner setting. Go to a restaurant that is not too fancy. If you avoid a formal dining setting there will be no expectations to impress, and the mood will be more friendly, leaving the perfect atmosphere and setting for casual talk so you can get to know each other.

If your date is the outdoorsy type, ask them to take a hike, in a good way. Hiking through nature gives you the perfect opportunity for some in-depth conversation as well as getting a good feel of the type of person your date is. You could also pack a picnic to enjoy.

Go bowling. Bowling is an excellent first date choice. The environment is fun and relaxed. You get short spurts of time together, which is perfect if you’re struggling for conversation or the right thing to say. You can take advantage of your bowling turn to think of something to talk about, or a good reply to something your date just asked you.

Head to an aquarium, zoo, or museum. These three places are virtually fool-proof first date locales. You get a short period of time to spend with your date that is fun and provides little pressure to impress. If you are stuck on real conversation, you can always chat about the animals or artwork you are viewing. Make the date a little longer by including lunch midway through.

Getting the Conversation Rolling

Actually talking to your date is important. It can be awkward at times trying to get to know a new person you know nothing about. You don’t know their personality or how they would react to certain topics. But that’s the point of a first date, to get to know them.

There are a few topics you should avoid at all costs when on a first date. You should never talk about your health or medical issues. Your date doesn’t want to know about the nasty diarrhea you were having the night before, or your snotty nose.

Never talk about exes. Exes should never be brought up or talked about on a first date. If your date brings them up or asks about any of your exes, shrug it off and act nonchalant. You shouldn’t talk about exes so that you don’t seem like you are still hung up and in love, or that you have bad feelings towards them. If your date talks about their exes more than just in passing, it might be time to consider not having a second date.

Avoid talking about politics, religion, and money at all costs. You never want to get into an argument on your first date over a topic like politics or religion. It’s likely they don’t share the same views as you, and they don’t know you well enough to attempt to understand your stance. Also avoid talking about how much or how little money you have. There’s not much they can say in response when you talk about money, so it’s best to avoid the topic.

Keeping the conversation going, or even starting it, can be difficult on a first date. Stick to conversation topics that are basic and easy. If the conversation happens to turn deeper and you are both comfortable, you can roll with that.

Talk about basic get-to-know-you topics such as where your hometown is, where you went to school, your occupation, and what your parents do for a living. Talk about how many siblings you have, and if you have any nieces or nephews. These are great general topics to get conversation started and get a feel for each other.

Talk about your movie and music interests. If you’ve seen a great movie recently, ask your date if they’ve seen it, too. If they have, you can both talk about what made the movie so good, the characters, and the storyline. Or if the movie was horrible, you can talk about that.

Ask your date about their day or what the best thing was that has happened to them recently. Maybe they just got promoted, got a new car, or even found something that has been missing for a while. This is small talk that could lead to a greater, more in-depth conversation.

If you are having a difficult time trying to connect with your date, and just can’t seem to get the conversation going no matter what, maybe it’s time to let that one go. Part of going on first dates is meeting plenty of dupes before you find one you can instantly connect with.

Just a Few More Tips

There is no completely right or wrong way to handle a first date. There are still a few tips you could try to utilize to help things go along smoother, and hopefully score a second date with a person you like.

The ultimate tip is to be yourself. You can be an enhanced version of yourself through great makeup and clothes, but you never want to lie. Don’t make up things that aren’t true, and don’t pretend to have a personality you don’t possess.

Be aware of your body language. Try to be conscious of the way your body is and the types of signals you may be sending to your date. If you are slouched with your eyes down, your date is probably going to think you aren’t having a good time and are disinterested.

Turn your phone off. It is incredibly rude to text or accept phone calls on a date, especially the first date. If you cannot leave your phone alone and are nonstop texting, it is very unlikely you will get a second date.

Dress comfortably and appropriately. If you are going on your first date bowling, your favorite jeans and t-shirt are appropriate, and will make you feel confident, comfortable, and attractive.

As important as it is for you to open up and let your date know a little about you, it’s also important for you to be an excellent listener. Your date should feel like you are interested in what they are saying and that you are actually listening.

Following the above tips will leave you better prepared for your first date with a new person. No matter how much you prepare and are your best on a first date, it’s important to realize that sometimes there just isn’t any chemistry there. There is really nothing you can do to change that.

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